so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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