i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
