Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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