i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
