I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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