break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Found your dick twin last night
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
