As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
