i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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