Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I want her autograph on my taint
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
