Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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