This girl is more easily done than said...
now i know why i became what i already was.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I want a musical about memes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
