dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
