so explain again why im purple
no
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
