could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
