lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
