i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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