I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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