This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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