Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
