no, he came in my armpit
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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