Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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