we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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