You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
