I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize