You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
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Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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