i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
