at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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