I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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