weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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