We're like a lot better than the average bears
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??