I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
