Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.

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  (952): True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you. http://tfl.nu/3inq
  Replies (35) Good night (1416) Bad night (3270)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill

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  (270): She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill http://tfl.nu/d0h5
  Replies (16) Good night (628) Bad night (4461)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."

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  (514): i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty." http://tfl.nu/ecou
  Replies (15) Good night (4783) Bad night (889)
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  (415): View more from California

  And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.

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  (415): And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked. http://tfl.nu/8nhm
  Replies (45) Good night (5456) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  she told me i tasted like america

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  (206): she told me i tasted like america http://tfl.nu/ed46
  Replies (31) Good night (7835) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.

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  (702): I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high. http://tfl.nu/9ove
  Replies (27) Good night (1281) Bad night (5077)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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  (505): I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot http://tfl.nu/gw1u
  Replies (379) Good night (2076) Bad night (54008)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.

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  (815): He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already. http://tfl.nu/j86y
  Replies (10) Good night (7425) Bad night (1173)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.

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  (204): Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY. http://tfl.nu/elym
  Replies (11) Good night (2762) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.

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  (484): so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey. http://tfl.nu/h1y9
  Replies (7) Good night (3324) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer

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  (678): I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer http://tfl.nu/ffy6
  Replies (4) Good night (679) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face

  (310): View more from California

  On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?

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  (310): Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face (310): On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people? http://tfl.nu/ezwy
  Replies (6) Good night (1981) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.

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  (503): Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in. http://tfl.nu/17i8
  Replies (1) Good night (1023) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.

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  (512): He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/1x16
  Replies (1) Good night (822) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "

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  (732): he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot " http://tfl.nu/4jvz
  Replies (4) Good night (549) Bad night (170)

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