omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?