everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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