Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.