I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
