You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
