He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
