her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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