sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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