She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
