just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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