Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think your dad took our porno
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
