you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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