Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize