It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
