I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
