took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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