you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
