so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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