I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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