She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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