Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
