I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize