someone get that fucking seahorse.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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