How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
