the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
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I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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