I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
