idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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