He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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