Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sorry about my life...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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