id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
