ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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