is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
