haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
