Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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