i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
