just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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