a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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