I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
