I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
