do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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