u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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